That Kendrick Lamar Song"b**tch don't kill my vibe” may be old now but it still resonates heavily in my world.
It is a song that speaks huge volumes about the male psyche in many ways. In it, Kendrick who is rumoured to be releasing a new album under the title "Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers" expresses his desire to be left alone; on occasion that is. He tells his hypothetical beau to eschew killing his vibe [ruining his mood].
Now I can not claim to speak for every male, but that song is mood music, because guys often have those off days, when we are just indisposed to having a conversation.
Today’s world bears down quite hard on a male mind and it sure does put a heavy damper on it in my part of the world. As a consequence, Mood disorders have been on the rise.
The world has of late also been bearing down hard on many young women but their harsh realities and mood disorders pale in comparison to those of today's young man.
At times its just the need for self introspection or just the usual collection of thoughts that explains why he is not his usual cheerful self. But you also to appreciate that the less men think, they more they talk. Not a good thing.
Because the female mind is wired differently, some women make wrong readings of what is playing out when a male mind is having its off days. At worst, is when the female mind put false constructs on things; thinking if a male they are attached to seeks time alone, he is up to no good. Credulous thinking like that often leads nowhere but up a blind alley.
Desiring time alone-without being disturbed is an occasional male mood that happens when one least expects.Well, sometimes it is expected especially, when days do not go as you anticipate. Not by any long shot, does it mean however that a man is doing stuff behind your back or that he is deliberately acting out of character to make you angry.
At times, those lonely as a cloud moments are all men need to get their mojos back, with the worldly pressures they face.
Author John Gray couldn’t have brought it out better in his book “Men are from mars and women are from Venus” In it, Gray mostly talks about male and female relationships and how we defer. He describes men as sly; saying little and having a tendency to get away if they feel too closed in some space.
Women on the other hand are described as outgoing, good humored and social. Now that is the distinction.
The desire by some men to have time off alone has nothing to do with emotionally immaturity or introversion.It has everything to do with laying to heart one’s deepest fears, inner battles, frustrations, insecurities, struggles, challenges and failures.
Because men have been taught to show-fortitude in the face of adversity, and misery, they won’t, in most cases, just lay bare their feelings or poignant thoughts. No man wants to be looked at a wussy or a wimp.
Here is the take-home-the “unspoken word does no harm”. So if he has not spoken daggers at you, take a chill pill and put all your hunches on the back burner.